Reuben Ranzo

Oh, poor old Reuben Ra-an-zo.
Ranzo, me boys, Ranzo!
Oh, poor old Reuben Ra-an-zo.
Ranzo, boy-ees, R-r-ran-zo!

His father was a New York ta-i-lor.
Ranzo, me boys, Ranzo!
An' shipped 'im aboard a wha-ler.
Ranzo, me boys, R-r-ran-zo!

But Ranzo was no beau-u-ty.
Ranzo, me boys, Ranzo!
He could not do his du-u-ty!
Ranzo, me boys, R-r-ran-zo!

For Ranzo was no sai-i-lor.
Ranzo, me boys, Ranzo!
No use aboard a wha-i-ler.
Ranzo, me boys, R-r-ran-zo!

But 'e worked on nav-i-ga-ashun, Ranzo, me boys, Ranzo! T' fit 'im for 'is stay-ay-shun. Ranzo, me boys, R-r-ran-zo!

Now 'e's Captain ov a Black-ball li-i-ner.
Ranzo, me boys, Ranzo!
An' nothin' could be fi-i-ner.
Ranzo, me boys, R-r-ran-zo!

But Ranzo was no sai-i-lor.
Ranzo, me boys, Ranzo!
No use aboard a wha-i-ler.
Ranzo, me boys, R-r-ran-zo!

Here is another, longer, R-rated set of lyrics from mudcat.org:

Ranzo was no sailor.
He was a New York tailor

He was a New York tailor.
Shanghai'd aboard a whaler

Ranzo was no beauty.
He could not do his duty'

He done his hair with oil.
But he could not furl a Royal

They put him holystonin'.
And cared not for his groanin'

He washed once in a fortnight.
He said it was his birthright

The captain ordered thirty.
Because he was so dirty

The captains daughter, Lucy.
She loudly begged for mercy

They gave him lashes twenty.
That's twenty more than plenty

She took him to her cabin.
And tried to ease his moanin'

Ranzo nearly fainted.
When his back with oil was painted

She gave him wine and whisky.
Which made him feel damn frisky

She gave him rum and water.
And a bit more than she oughter

She gave him education.
And taught him navigation

She made him the best sailor.
On board that Yankee whaler

He married the captain's daughter.
And still sails on salt water

But now he is the skipper.
Of a smart New Bedford clipper

He's known wherever them whalefish blow.
As the toughest old bastard on the go.